Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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