Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize