when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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