I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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