Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I smell stomach acid.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
