P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
