Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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