idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
