we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
