batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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