i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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