Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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