When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize