i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
