Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
