Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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