i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize