I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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