and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
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That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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