moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
