Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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