I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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