told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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