Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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