There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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