Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
