Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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