so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I would fuck him just for his dog
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
