I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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