She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
