Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
