You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
