you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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