Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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