he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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