can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
