I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
