As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
