We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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