apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
