Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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