this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Omg I joined a choir last night...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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