No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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