he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
