So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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