I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
