i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
