Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
