if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
