So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
