the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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