why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize