Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
