things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
