waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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