Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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