I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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