Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
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Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
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Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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