If that was your dad, he is hot
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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