you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
